try to remind myself that i was happy before i knew that i could get on a plane and fly away....

I am having trouble adjusting to being home.. I got home last friday night @ 11:30pm. I put Mary to bed and called Jay, we spent an hour on the phone catching up and being disgustingly mushy (i missed you... no I missed you..) I know, I even gag myself lol... Then I finally passed out and woke up at 8 am, so M. could pick up Mary. Jay came over 9ish and, yeah "somehow" we ended up in bed till around 1ish. He took me to fire and ice (one of my fav resturants) It was all sunshine and rainbows... Then we met Jen @ around 7pm-ish for some much needed bar time...
Oh yeah..backtracking.. the big gesture previously mentioned in Jen's blog???? Jay got a RI cell phone. Why a big gesture you ask??? Because before he had a VT one, cuz that was his "home", he has since changed his mind and commited to staying around here to be with yours truly, as I am his girl... Ok swoon with me, you know you want to... ;op
So since then, Jay has slept over Monday and Tuesday night... Yeah and mentioned in a few months he'd like us to live together. Whoa, whoa, whoa... I am not ready but I am. The whole idea of it makes my chest tighten up in a panicky way....
Jay has been really commited to this whole he and I thinkg since I am back. And wow though I relish and delight in the luvvv, I am squeamish too... Will I ever be able to move on???? I mean this guy is so good, why I am still haunted by the ghost of my marriage???
Maybe because this Friday would've been my 5 year wedding anniversary and last Friday was our 9 year relationship anniversary????
Mary started her first day of preschool today... Aww the mom in me was crying inside, but the teacher in me was thrilled to have her out of my classroom...
My friend just found out her son is sick (in a big way). Today I was playing with him outside and it just hit me. I love that little man like I love my Mary and I am worried about him. It breaks my heart. I just want to scoop him up and fix it all. If only...
Work has sucked as predicted but eh...
Plans this weekend include, drinking game fri night @ my place... First big "family" outing with Jay and Mary on Sat, my aunt's retirement party. We will see if my boy can handle a two year old cranky pants surrounded by adults... Plus my family??? Uh oh..maybe he should wear a helmet? Father's Day, M has Mary and I am solo....