I can't look at you when I'm lying next to him...

Ok lately there has been more than one occasion where M. and Jay are both in my house @ the same time. I mean the other morning Jay was cooking breakfast and M. came to drop off Mary. Holy awkward.... The last weekend, M. came to pick her up and Jay was in the living room. Jay was about to leave for softball, but just kinda hung back and waited for M. to leave. Weird....
It's amazing to me how different things are with Jay then they were with M.... I know I shouldn't compare cuz that's weird. But hell I can't help it...
Tomorrow is the 'rents annual 4th of July party. My whole family will be around, plus a few of my lovies..namely Jen and Jenn, plus their kids/boys.. Maybe Steph too. And Jay... Wow I bring this boy around my family... It's a thing you know.
Last night was THE crappiest day at work... Jay came over & listened to me whine about it and just sacked out on the couch with me and watched a movie.. It was perfection...

Right now she’s probably up singing some white trash version of Shania karaoke...

Steph and I, looking uber cool @ the bar

My 2 BFF's

Steph..

And Steph again..

Awww aren't we cute?

I can't sing.. at all. Yet for some god awful reason I choose to go out and do karaoke with my friends occasionally. Sat night was one of those nights.. I sang "The First Cut is the Deepest" - Sheryl Crow... Luckily you can't really tell how bad you actually are when you've had 4 shots of Dr. :0) Yup I like to think on the bright side... I was a bastard and left the bar when Jay left... Yeah I suck I know. I just am all gushy mushy about him and honestly sometimes the highlight of my week is curling up in bed with him. Yeah I fell off...
Lately we have been spending almost every day together. Literally. He's slept over a lot and surprisingly, though I bitch, I am getting far to comfortable with it. Suddenly I am commitment girl???
And yup I'm loving pretty much every second of it...

Try to understand, there is an old mistake that fools will make, And I'm the king of them, pushing everything that's good away...

It occured to me today, after a minor spat with Jay yesterday, that I have really high expectations. I do. It doesn't take much for me to give up on a person. (hence ummm DIVORCED!) But seriously, I expect Jay to not screw up. I expect perfection from him. I really do. And when he doesn't pull through with the perfection, I consider dumping him. Wow it must suck to date me...
Yesterday he came and spent some time with Mary and I. I got massively sunburned and I'm itchy as hell. But it was sweet, it was romantic and it was the perfect day.
Mary is now the proud owner of a bunny she named Wiggala. WTF???
Last night, I missed a good time with friends due to lack of sitter. Eh being a mom can be tough on your social life. I'm bummed though, I miss some of my friends I like NEVER see anymore. I have Sat nights free... Plans..anyone???
Yard sale tomorrow at Jen's grandmother's, then eh, a few plans in the works.... Sunday who knows, lounging by the pool sounds good..

Yet another...

You Are 49% Pure

You're not so innocent... in fact, you're quite unpure. You have seen and experienced a lot. And you're no worse for the wear!

The 100 Question Purity Test

Random Quiz

Your Five Factor Personality Profile

Extroversion: You have medium extroversion. You're not the life of the party, but you do show up for the party. Sometimes you are full of energy and open to new social experiences. But you also need to hibernate and enjoy your "down time." Conscientiousness: You have medium conscientiousness. You're generally good at balancing work and play. When you need to buckle down, you can usually get tasks done. But you've been known to goof off when you know you can get away with it. Agreeableness: You have medium agreeableness. You're generally a friendly and trusting person. But you also have a healthy dose of cynicism. You get along well with others, as long as they play fair. Neuroticism: You have medium neuroticism. You're generally cool and collected, but sometimes you do panic. Little worries or problems can consume you, draining your energy. Your life is pretty smooth, but there's a few emotional bumps you'd like to get rid of. Openness to experience: Your openness to new experiences is high. In life, you tend to be an early adopter of all new things and ideas. You'll try almost anything interesting, and you're constantly pushing your own limits. A great connoisseir of art and beauty, you can find the positive side of almost anything.

The Five Factor Personality Test

Sometimes, I crave an old-fashioned adventure. Yes, some time away from day to day that gets ya...

Haven't blogged in awhile... So let's catch up..

Jay survived meeting the fam last Sat. They all thought he was great and great for me. Even got the seal of approval from my gay cousins who thought he was so damn cute (lol).
So since last Monday, the only day the boy hasn't slept over was Thursday and last night. Yeah. Color me nervous.... I love having him around but last night luvvved having my bed all to myself..
Everything is just really clicking with us in this big way. I can't explain it, he has quickly become one of my best friends. We share all this stuff and it's really nothing like what I had with M. It's normal and healthy and happy. Whoa.
I also have been puking like it's my job since Monday. Ugh huh? Yeah and Jay even came over to take care of me, swoon. He's nearly freakin perrfect and we all know I am so not.
Anyway..
So M. continues to be stingy with money. I am trying to get by without it but damn it is hard! I am trying to be all ready to move by Sept, which HA at this rate will never happen. Being a grown up is wayy to hard...
So that's it, haven't worked in days, bored out my mind and eh now I'm going to actually shower..

try to remind myself that i was happy before i knew that i could get on a plane and fly away....

I am having trouble adjusting to being home.. I got home last friday night @ 11:30pm. I put Mary to bed and called Jay, we spent an hour on the phone catching up and being disgustingly mushy (i missed you... no I missed you..) I know, I even gag myself lol... Then I finally passed out and woke up at 8 am, so M. could pick up Mary. Jay came over 9ish and, yeah "somehow" we ended up in bed till around 1ish. He took me to fire and ice (one of my fav resturants) It was all sunshine and rainbows... Then we met Jen @ around 7pm-ish for some much needed bar time...
Oh yeah..backtracking.. the big gesture previously mentioned in Jen's blog???? Jay got a RI cell phone. Why a big gesture you ask??? Because before he had a VT one, cuz that was his "home", he has since changed his mind and commited to staying around here to be with yours truly, as I am his girl... Ok swoon with me, you know you want to... ;op
So since then, Jay has slept over Monday and Tuesday night... Yeah and mentioned in a few months he'd like us to live together. Whoa, whoa, whoa... I am not ready but I am. The whole idea of it makes my chest tighten up in a panicky way....
Jay has been really commited to this whole he and I thinkg since I am back. And wow though I relish and delight in the luvvv, I am squeamish too... Will I ever be able to move on???? I mean this guy is so good, why I am still haunted by the ghost of my marriage???
Maybe because this Friday would've been my 5 year wedding anniversary and last Friday was our 9 year relationship anniversary????
Mary started her first day of preschool today... Aww the mom in me was crying inside, but the teacher in me was thrilled to have her out of my classroom...
My friend just found out her son is sick (in a big way). Today I was playing with him outside and it just hit me. I love that little man like I love my Mary and I am worried about him. It breaks my heart. I just want to scoop him up and fix it all. If only...
Work has sucked as predicted but eh...
Plans this weekend include, drinking game fri night @ my place... First big "family" outing with Jay and Mary on Sat, my aunt's retirement party. We will see if my boy can handle a two year old cranky pants surrounded by adults... Plus my family??? Uh oh..maybe he should wear a helmet? Father's Day, M has Mary and I am solo....

Pics from Myrtle Beach

Just a couple of Southern Belles...

Like Mother.. like Daughter.. (many nights this is me at the bar huh Jen?)

Scuba diving..

Quasi bungee jumping

Quasi bungee jumping cont..

Mary just luvs car rides

Jimmy Buffet's Margaritaville

Broadway @ the Beach

More Broadway @ the Beach

Two weeks away.. feels like the whole word shoulda chenged..but I'm back now and things still look the same...

Ok maybe a week away.. but still..
I arrived home from MB last night, to a mailbox full of bills, a musty house and a moldy mac& cheese bowl courtsey of Jonathan (lol). Ahh this is my world. While on vaca, Danielle from work called me, heard all the drama, it's great to already know Monday will suck..
Spent the day so far with Jay, yeah obviously a mega sex fest... Hmmmm it will be time for a hickey check on Monday @ work lol...
Other than that I've got nothing.. Ok a lot has happened but I am too wiped to share...